Sunday, July 3, 2022

To not cry anymore and to let go

This for my dearest Huski. Huski with an "i" coz she is our Husky. Even though I decided to keep crying everyday to keep your beautiful face printed in my memory. It is physically getting difficult to do so anymore. So baby, I will let you go. If you wish to be mine again I hope you come to me. Bt I didn't wanted take that promise from you coz if you wish to go to peace with all the good you've done, Baby you're entitled for your own heaven. Bye Huski! You have a piece of my heart with you! Keep it safe with you! I will always love you! I know I can't love anything more than I love you.
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Her name is Huski. This is her story. Seven years ago when I was coming home in an evening, my father told me we might have a new guest. He told me there was this pretty little girl walking around all scared and confused and that he asked if she wanted some milk, lunch and a place to stay. He told me it is her choice to stay coz maybe she might find another place. But when we arrived home she was still there resting and sleeping peacefully by the milk bowl. Even before I saw her, my father said she is just as pretty as a Husky and we could name her Huski. When she looked at me with those prettiest eyes I knew how my father was spell bound. I was the same. Of course she is our Huski. She chose us. She is the most happiest bundle of joy. She grew up so fast. She is soooo smart. 
When there's something bad going down and the culprit is her, I would report on the spot to my fsther saying "Thaththe, menna Huskiii...... " . She knew I was about to tell on her. So she spoke even louder than me with the same rhythm drowning my voice. So Thaththa had to come and see why the two sisters are arguing. Usually when she is smart like that she gets rewarded for her bad behaviour and I get the blame coz I wasn't looking after her as the big sister. She always knew how to ask for attention. When we have a foot or a hand hanging by the chair she would simply walk by as she is getting petted by accident and if she sees it worked, she would stay there until she gets enough. She is sooo smart!
When she got pregnant and suddenly she had her stillborn babies, everyone was so worried and that was the first day I realized I could loose her. Finally she had her babies. 4 babies, 3boys and a girl. I instantly became the nanny to those babies. because not everyone got fed equally. I had to separate the fat babies and sing them to sleep while she fed the other babies. She trusted us so much around her newborns coz she knew that she knows nothing about babies. When the babies starting the solid food she immediately gave up the mother role and as I was too involved. She was like two can't do this. I did the hard part now you take care of the rest. Then I cooked the most healthy balanced meals for the babies and fed them. They almost choked on the first day and I remember how Huski walked away from the scene looking at me like you clean up your mess! Her beautiful traits were devided among those babies. A pretty one, a smart one, a silly one, and the adorable one. Those babies wouldn't fight with her for treats or special treatments becoz she always came first. It's always Huski comes first kind of a concept even before me. She was so spoiled.
That's why I still can't believe the words I heard, "Huski is gone, she is not there anymore". I couldn't believe it. I still can hear those words. I always say to everybody take Shakespeare's advice and love moderately. But I didn't take that advice and I realized that last week. It will always be a missing piece of heart which I will always feel. I can imagine how my father would sit beside her and talk to her until she went on her final journey. I know I couldn't be there bt if I were, I would've asked her to stay and come back and all those obligations that she'd feel like she'd have to do. I only hope she went peacefully with all the love she can carry. Good Bye Huski. We were privileged to be loved by you!